Horrors Of “The Working Dead” - Is Your Printer A Zombie?

It’s a dark and stormy workday in the office. As you sip your coffee, there it sits in the corner… watching you. That old printer, with its creaks and groans, still churning out documents day after day. Sure, it works—but does it really? What you might not know is that your old office printer could be ONE OF THE WORKING DEAD!!!  

A zombie printer seems to be alive, but really, it's rotting away from within. No longer supported by the manufacturer, it's slowly decaying without vital updates or parts, ready to infect the rest of your workplace with costly delays and inefficiencies.  

Terrified yet? You should be. 

Let’s break down what happens when your printer goes from a trusted office companion to a ravenous monster in this all-too-common IT nightmare. 

In the normal world, the average office printer has a lifespan of 3 to 5 years, depending on how often it’s used. Like your favorite character in a horror movie, they live a good life -- printing, scanning, and copying their hearts out -- unaware of the awful things that will happen to them if they linger around and get left behind. 

Manufacturers certainly do their part while the printer is still "alive," offering firmware updates that keep it compatible with the ever-evolving office network. These updates patch security vulnerabilities and ensure your printer plays well with all the other tech in your office. 

But, when a printer reaches its End of Life (EOL), that’s when things start to get spooky. The updates stop coming, the support vanishes, and what you have on your hands is no longer a trusted office buddy—it’s turned into a zombie!!! 

Like any good zombie story, a printer doesn’t just die right away. It starts with that creeping dread: paper jams become more frequent, print quality declines, and parts become harder to replace. You notice it, but you try to ignore it. After all, it’s still printing, right? 

But here’s the horror—the printer may still be physically working, but it  not alive -- it is undead! When a manufacturer declares a printer as End of Life (EOL), it means they’ve stopped producing critical firmware updates. This printer firmware is what protects your printer from security threats, malware, and hijack attempts. Without these updates, the printer becomes more vulnerable by the day, exposed to hackers who are just waiting to feast on the juicy data in your network. 

Remember that zombie lore? One bite is all it takes... One infected printer and your entire office network could be doomed. All it takes is a single hacker breaking through your printer’s outdated firmware to gain access to your network—and from there, your servers, laptops, and confidential files are theirs for the taking. Think of it as the digital version of the zombie apocalypse. You won’t even know it’s happening until it’s too late. 

To understand more about how vulnerabilities in office equipment can expose your business to security risks, visit NIST’s (National Institute of Standards and Technology) cybersecurity framework.  

So, how do you know if that harmless-looking office printer has joined the ranks of the undead? Here are a few telltale signs that you’ve got a zombie printer lurking: 

• Age: If your printer is over 5 years old, there’s a good chance that it is no longer being supported by the manufacturer. 
• Frequent Issues: Paper jams, slow printing, and faded output are the death rattles of a dying printer. 
• No More Updates: If your printer has not received a firmware update in a while, your printer is vulnerable. Think of a sleeping, vulnerable senior citizen in the middle of a zombie invasion. 
• Parts Are Hard to Find: If you can’t get replacement parts or have to scour the internet for them, that’s another red flag that this printer has reached End of Life (EOL). 
• Security Compromises: You’ve been warned—outdated firmware equals major vulnerabilities. If a zombie breaks down your door, you whole network may be left exposed to whatever trouble comes storming in through the gates.  

Still holding onto that zombie printer, hoping it won't "turn bad" and attack you? Let’s get serious for a moment. Zombie printers aren’t just annoying—they’re seriously dangerous!!! 

• Cyber Attacks: The biggest risk is that your zombie printer becomes a portal for hackers to infiltrate your entire network. Imagine thinking you’re printing out your monthly reports, and instead, you’re opening the gates for a cybercriminal to walk right in and hijack your company's valuable data. 
• Data Breaches: Sensitive information can be easily accessed through a compromised printer. What was once a benign office machine could now be the tool that leaks your company’s private information like blood from an open wound. 
• Increased Costs: Zombie printers suck the life out of your budget with constant repairs, downtime, and energy consumption. Not to mention, as parts become more obsolete, they get more expensive. 

To understand more about the potential cybersecurity risks in the workplace, including printers, the Federal Communications Commission (FCC) offers a comprehensive guide for small businesses on cybersecurity best practices. 

It’s time to stop pretending your printer is still "alive & well". The best way to deal with a zombie printer? You've gotta put it down before it brings down your whole office. Here’s how you can kill your zombie printer in a few easy steps: 

1. Analyze Your Fleet: Get an overview of all your printers. How old are they? Are they still supported with firmware updates? 
2. Conduct a Print Assessment: Figure out which printers are essential and which are ready to be put to rest. Do a security check and evaluate the risks of keeping any EOL zombies around. 
3. Check Your Printer Contracts: Determine which printers are leased and which are owned outright. If they’re leased, you might already have an easy path to upgrading them. 
4. Work with a Managed Print Services Provider: An experienced MPS provider, like Flex Technology Group, can help you identify which printers need to be replaced and ensure you’re never haunted by zombies again. 
5. Dispose of Your Zombie Safely: Don’t just toss that zombie printer in the trash. Send it to a recycler or have it properly disposed of through a secure e-waste program. That way, it won’t come back to haunt you. (The Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) offers guidance on Electronics Donation and Recycling, including printers.) 

Sometimes we have to make the hard choices. You’ve had that printer for years. It’s been by your side through thick and thin. But keeping a zombie printer around is like holding onto a cursed artifact in a horror movie— you’re just asking for trouble. Remember Amy, in “Wildfire”, (Season 1, Episode 5) on The Walking Dead? It’s time to say goodbye, for your own safety. 

There’s no need to live in fear of the next cyber-attack or to keep duct-taping your way through printer malfunctions. Flex Technology Group can help you detect and replace the dangerously undead devices from your office once and for all --replacing it with fresh reinforcements, equipped with regular firmware updates and bulletproof security features. 

So, what are you waiting for? Let go of that zombie and upgrade to a new printer while you still can. Don’t let your office become a real-life horror show. When it comes to zombie printers, the only way to survive is to eliminate them before they eliminate you. 

Happy Halloween! We hope this piece brought a smile to your face. 😊 

Reach out to us for a full assessment of your print environment.